“Mummy why is your tummy so wobbly?”
The words that every woman wants to hear right?! through gritted teeth and with a slightly crimson tint to my face, smile plastered on, trying to look like the comment didn’t make me want to run and find my slimming world book that’s gathering dust in the neglected ‘skinny food’ cupboard somewhere, I decided that this could be my sons first lesson in feminism.
“My tummy is wobbly because women are special, women grow little babies in their tummy’s and when that baby is born they need somewhere comfy to sleep so women get wobbly tummy’s to give their babies a nice place to rest. Isn’t that amazing Thomas?”
“Is it not just because you eat too many sweets?”
“yep, that too kid.” *defeated sigh*
“I love your wobbly tummy mummy, I wish I could grow babies, I would have 50”
“One day you will find a special lady and she will grow babies for you, but you always have to remember how special ladies are Thomas because in the olden days boys used to think that they were better than girls and that just isn’t true. You know ladies are just as clever as men and we can do all the things that you can.”
“boys rule, girls drool… Boys can fart better than girls mummy, except you, you can fart really loud”
“who do you REALLY think is better, boys or girls?”
“I think we are all the same.” *happy sigh*
And so concluded my sons first (pretty successful) lesson in equality, you see I want my boys to realise the beauty of a woman in every form, I don’t want them to believe what they see in magazines is the only kind of beautiful, because it isn’t!
I want my sons to grow up realising the true value of women, to not expect to somehow be superior because they are male. I want them to remember the strong, opinionated, capable female role models they have in their lives because when they do meet a partner I want them to enable that woman to reach her dreams and her potential. I want them to take an active role in bringing up their own children (mainly for payback reasons, I hope they have a taste of there own medicine), I don’t want them to think a mans job is to work whilst his wife stays home and cleans, I want them to have the poor sods tea on the table when she gets home sometimes because I’m telling you whoever ‘she’ is will have to be a brave kind of lady taking one of these two reprobates on!
When someone says the word feminist people instantly think of burning bras and desperate women handcuffing themselves together protesting for their rights, rights that should never have been questioned in the first place, I mean seriously how can a man ever question the validity of a woman’s excellence! I’ve not heard of babies being pushed out of any dicks recently (at the least the anatomical ones) have you? I wouldn’t class myself as a feminist, I think these days it has become less about equality and more about women taking over and being somehow superior, surely that’s no better than men being seen as superior so I prefer equality.
My two boys need to realise that although the female body is an amazing thing its not just for growing babies, we are capable of so much more, we are capable of running the world with them. If we are given the chance that is.
My boys are too young to understand equality and all its ins and outs so for now they can just carry on happy in their innocent little world where all that matters is paw patrol and football, eating worms, and causing me to gradually loose my hair one tantrum at a time, and I will carry on teaching them the only way I know how. By being as strong a woman as my mum was for me ( and playing spice girls greatest hits in the background, subliminally sending messages of female greatness).
My boys will learn the importance of women by watching how hard I work for them (mentally as well as physically). They will see that ‘being a lady’ should refer purely to the state of your anatomy (through my foul mouth and apparently good farting skills) and they will learn that the spice girls are the best band that ever lived, Thomas is already a fan and asks for it on in the car, a lesson in how to get your children bullied at school right there!
I will continue to let them see my wobbly belly (amongst other wobbly bits) so that they can see that women are not just physically perfect beings that are around to sit and look pretty, and that beauty is not just skin deep.
I will carry on answering the questions that make my heart sink a little bit because that is how they will learn that imperfection is beautiful! I will answer them confidently and pretend I don’t want to cry every time they point out every single spot or dimple I have. kids are seriously bad for the ego.
Until next time “Goodbye my friend, I know your gone, you said your gone but I can still feel you here” (I fucking love the spice girls!)